Loose Ends
by WriterLeigh
Summary: "I'm glad you weren't there because this was never anyone else's battle to fight." Kate and Rick, from the hours immediately after 'Always' to working towards their always. Rating may change. Caskett.


**Author Note: **

_Hey guys,_  
_This story is yet another post-Always fic, but unlike my other completely fluffy attempt, 'Domestic Bliss,' this actually has an insanely detailed plot to go along with it. This idea was constructed by myself and a friend, so I therefore credit Patrick for all of his help. Thank you._

_Thank you also to Thaís for your endless positive comments, and listening to me complain quite a lot. This is for you girl :) xo_

_Hope you all enjoy! Please review._

_-Leigh _

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**Disclaimer:**_**  
**I'm clearly not Andrew Marlowe, and wish I had even an ounce of his talent._

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**Loose Ends  
Chapter One**

Castle was only dimly aware of Kate's hand encompassing his own, and the familiar scent of cherries overwhelmed his senses as he stumbled blindly after her. Her grip on him never wavered but he caught the hesitance in her expression when she turned back to glance at him, her free hand lingering just a second too long on the door handle. A flicker of the old Kate - who'd built up so many walls she could give China a run for it's money - reappeared; he could see it in her eyes as she tried to get her mind around this next step.

Castle paused too, his body moving against her back as he leaned around her and gently - placed his hand over her own and pushed open the door, fumbling inside for the light switch. Then, reversing their positions he lead her inside and turned to face her as the door clicked quietly shut behind them. "We need to talk about this Kate," He said, breaking the intense silence that lingered and letting go of her hand, his fingers instantly occupying themselves with tracing patterns up her forearm. His hand then moved from her shoulder to tangle gently in her wet hair as he pulled her towards him, lips claiming hers in a chaste kiss.

Something in the feel of his mouth moving against hers must have sparked a renewed reassurance in Kate because she eagerly responded to the kiss, her teeth grazing his bottom lip and causing him to emit a low groan. Her tongue sought entrance into his mouth - which Castle willingly granted - beginning its relentless exploration. Kate's slender frame arched into his sturdier build and with no distance between them they could both feel how much he evidently wanted her.

Castle's hands skimmed her sides, peeling the wet material of her shirt away from where it clung to her skin and they tightened on Kate's hips as her mouth moved from his lips. She began placing a trail of hot open mouthed kisses against his jawline, following the curve and lazily letting her tongue and teeth toy with the shell of his ear.

Kate felt her back collide with the bedroom wall and she was unable to prevent the yelp that followed as her body screamed in protest - a painful reminder of the beating she'd subjected it to - or the way her teeth sank viciously into his earlobe. Castle tore his mouth from where he'd been teasing the hollow of her throat and his eyes searched her expression anxiously, "Kate?" He asked questioningly, reaching out once more for her hand. "Did I-"

He didn't need to ask the end of the question because Kate shook her head, not quite meeting his eyes as she deliberately placed his hands back on the wall either side of her body, before reaching to lace her arms around his neck, "It's not you," She answered back softly, her brow creasing into a frown as he stepped back out of her personal space. "I'm fine, really," Kate stressed the last syllables of her sentence, fighting not to glance away from him, uncomfortable under his close scrutiny.

Castle's eyes narrowed slightly, "Why is it I don't believe you?" He said with a sigh as she deliberately stared him down. Not taking no for an answer this time, he laced his fingers through hers and gave it a comforting squeeze, "You can't hide from me, Kate. It's been four years and I know you. I know the little trivial things that you'd be surprised I remember. I've seen you at your best, and I've seen you at your worst." He pulled her into his arms, tucking her hair behind her ear and leaning down to whisper to her, "I know when you're scared. I can feel you putting those walls back up and before I knew I had to let you come to me in your own time but now-" Castle hesitated for a fraction of second before continuing. "If we're gonna do this, you have got to start letting me in Katie," The nickname slipped out without pause, and only registered when it was too late to pretend it was a slip of the tongue but Kate didn't reprimand him for it; she didn't speak at all in fact, only tightening her arms around his waist. They stood locked in that same position for quite some time, both drawing comfort from the embrace they'd created.

When they finally broke apart it was Kate that pulled away first; the only evidence that she'd been affected by his words, the fresh tear tracks glistening on her cheeks and the darkened patch on his shirt. Without speaking, she moved to unbutton her blouse but her hands had started to tremble and it was made an increasingly difficult task. Castle automatically reached out towards her, his eyes flicking upwards to look at her and Kate knew what he was asking. She nodded, dropping her arms by her sides and letting him unbutton it the rest of the way down. He stepped back from her, his eyes respectfully never wavering from Kate's face even as she slid the shirt off her arms and stood in front of him, clad in just her bra. "It's okay Castle," She eventually spoke and though she was flushed slightly pink, her voice came out surprisingly steady, "You can look."

At her words Castle hesitantly lowered his gaze, his eyes tracing the curves and contours of her body, throat drying out instantly as he observed the extent of her discomfort. Kate's skin was still fairly reddened from the beating she'd sustained, and the beginnings of what were sure to be vivid bruises spanned her ribcage, "Oh Kate."

He thought he'd managed to stifle the gasp of horror before it left his mouth, and only realised he hadn't been successful when he looked down, and through his blurred vision saw their entwined fingers again, "It looks worse than it is," She supplied, beginning to run her thumb in light circles over the back of his hand. "The EMT at the scene checked me out and I really am okay."

The repetitive gesture seemed to calm him somewhat, enough so that he was able to gruffly ask her to turn around so he could see her back. There, her skin was already mottled purpled in places, particularly above where one of her kidneys should be. "This isn't okay," He said, vehemently, "How is any of this okay?"

"Hey, I've been through worse," Kate loosened her grip on him and brought his fingers up to press against her scar. "I'm still here Rick, a few bruises is a small price to pay for my life." He could feel the steady rhythm of her heartbeat beneath his fingertips, and it was the reiteration that she was indeed alive coupled with the matter of fact tone in which she spoke, that caused his eyes to sting painfully and a lump to lodge itself somewhere in his throat.

As Castle traced the mark left from her surgery, his head dropped in defeat and he pulled her gently against him, mindful of the tenderness of her injuries. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, I should have been there," Castle mumbled finally against her bare shoulder, "I let you down."

"No," Kate said sharply, "Don't you dare blame yourself for this because there is nothing you could have done." She dropped her hands from where they rested on the small of his back, gripping him by the wrist and leading him over to the bed. Castle didn't resist as she gently propelled him down into a sitting position, making him lean forward and placing some pillows behind his back. He held out an arm, inviting her to go and curl into his side but instead she climbed onto the bed and settled in the 'V' created by his legs, her back pressed reassuringly against his chest.

Castle's arms wrapped protectively around her waist and they both silently sought some much-needed comfort from the position before Kate eventually spoke. "We're going to talk about this, and I need you to listen and accept what I'm saying, okay?" There was a pleading note in her voice that he hadn't heard there before and she felt his hands tighten across her stomach. "If anyone is at fault for the situation I was in today, it's me. You tried to make me see reason Rick, but I've become so jaded by the past that I couldn't accept it."

"I should have tried harder then," He continued to press the issue. "I shouldn't have just given up on you."

Kate sighed heavily, "Look Rick, you know what investigating this does to me. I push people away, I self destruct and it's not pretty. What else could you have done when I couldn't even let you in?"

"I don't know," Castle answered back, his tone brittle and bordering on frustration, though she knew it wasn't directed at her. "But maybe if I'd been there-"

"He'd probably have knocked you unconscious the way he did Javi," Kate interrupted, a guilty edge to her words as she was forced to confront everything that Esposito had put on the line for her. "Or worse. I'm glad you weren't there because this was never anyone else's battle to fight."

"That's where you're wrong Kate, it became my battle the day I decided to look into it behind your back." Bitterness laced Castle's words and Kate could feel his body tense up against her and the regret radiating off of him in waves.

She switched her position, rolling over so she was facing him, sitting up and placing her knees either side of his legs as she distributed her weight evenly atop him. Kate needed him to see her face for this, "Well not anymore it isn't. You've walked away from the case, and I'm done chasing it." She reached out to squeeze his hands, speaking in a resigned whisper.

"I know now that I can't win this one, but I'm finally okay with that. I can live with not knowing because Mom's murder isn't my life anymore... you are," Her voice had gained strength again. She spoke the last two words without any hesitation, rising up onto her knees and affirming this by pressing her lips fervently to his before drawing back to look at him. His eyes were slightly damp, but he seemed lighter somehow and Kate instantly steeled herself for what she was about to say next.

"It took nearly falling from a roof to make me realise what you've been telling me all year," Castle made a choking noise at her words, and his fingers now had her in a death grip. Kate gently released one of their joined hands, reaching up and using her thumb to swipe away at a fresh tear track on his cheek. "I nearly died today and I've never been more scared- not of dying, but of dying before I had the chance to tell you I was sorry."

"I owe you so many apologies; for not listening, for lying and for expecting you to just stand by and watch me throw my life away," She admitted ashamedly, swallowing hard to keep the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks at bay. "I've spent so long blinded by some misguided quest for justice that it's turned into nothing more than a one-woman suicide mission and until today I couldn't even see that you were right."

Kate spoke into the silence for five minutes, before falling silent and tugging her bottom lip anxiously between her teeth. She seemed to be teetering on the verge of speech and he gave her a nod of encouragement. "It took you walking away yesterday for me to realise that none of it was enough anymore, that I just don't care enough. I - I don't work without you Castle."


End file.
